


What Is Enough?

by twdsunshine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 13:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/twdsunshine
Summary: When Daryl Dixon shuts the reader out, she decides to confront him to find out what exactly his problem is.  But the answer she gets isn’t the one she was expecting…





	What Is Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a request that was sent in by @96ssi on Tumblr, which is exactly the sort of fluffy, angsty little Daryl story that I love to write. I really hope you like it.
> 
> ‘could i request a daryl fic where the reader is very confident/best friends with everyone in the group and she loves daryl and he likes her too but pushes her away because he thinks she deserves better and he’s not good enough for her? So the reader confronts him and then the reader comforting him’

It happened the same way every day.  You could have predicted exactly how it would play out, right down to the last second.  Every evening you’d collect your food from Carol, thanking her for efforts to keep you all fed, and then you’d pick your way across the floor of the cellblock, stooping to ruffle Carl’s hair and laughing when he tried to duck out of reach before you could make contact, almost always too slow, and finally you’d settle yourself down next to Daryl, shooting him a small smile and greeting him with a casual, ‘Hey!’  And every evening his brow would crease as though you’d offended him in some way, and he’d shuffle uncomfortably for a moment, before choking down the rest of his meal as fast as possible and easing himself to his feet, wiping greasy fingers on the front of his trousers.  

‘S’my turn on watch,’ he’d grunt.  And then he’d be gone, and you’d be left stinging at his obvious disdain and reluctance to be anywhere near you.

It hadn’t always been that way.  Back at the start, right up till the fall of the farm, you’d gotten on with the archer just fine.  You’d joined him on several of his trips into the forest to find Sophia, tended to his wound when he’d ended up impaled on a bolt from his own crossbow, and spent more than a few long evenings sitting by his tent at his side, drinking beer and rolling your eyes at the petty squabbles that were tearing the group apart.  You’d been friends, almost.  You’d thought there might even be a chance that you could be more one day, if he just let those walls down a little further, let you in, let you get close.  But then your home had been overrun and you’d found yourself back on the road again, and cast out into the cold.

You could’ve given up, of course.  You could’ve taken a seat by Glenn or Beth or Rick, and had a perfectly pleasant conversation with people that you knew enjoyed your company as much as you did theirs, but you just couldn’t let go of that spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, you might be able to squeeze yourself back in to Daryl’s affections.  Well, it hadn’t happened yet, and you were slowly starting to lose heart.  You had no clue what you were supposed to have done that was so wrong, but it had obviously cut deep, and it wasn’t going to be fixed by close proximity and a forced smile.

‘Hey, you alright, sweetheart?’  Maggie had been sitting a few feet away from you and she slid closer now, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.  ‘Still not gettin’ anywhere, huh?’

You huffed in frustration.  ‘I have no clue what his problem is.’

'Have you tried talkin’ to him?’

'What do you think that was?’  You shook your head as you waved a hand towards his newly-vacant seat.  ‘He literally won’t even give me the time of day, Mags.’

'And since when did you let anybody just walk off when you weren’t done talkin’?’  She fixed you with a pointed look, her lips quirked in a smirk.  'So, I know you ain’t gonna sit here and pout about it for the… Glenn, how many nights has it been now?’

'Seventeen since we settled here,’ came the response.  'Longer if you count the time out there.’

‘We’ll go with seventeen,’ Maggie told her boyfriend, pleased with his nod of agreement.  'Sounds less pathetic.  Seventeen nights in a row you’ve been letting him drive you crazy, Y/N.  You’ve gotta get off your ass, get up to that guard tower, and make him tell you what the hell’s goin’ on.’

She was right.  Had it been anybody else that was exactly what you would’ve done the first time that they’d shut you down so abruptly.  You weren’t shy about putting yourself out there and making yourself heard.  But with Daryl, it was different.  You knew if you pushed too hard, you’d lose him forever, but you were starting to think that you had nothing left to lose.

'Okay.’  You ducked your head, taking a deep breath to steady yourself, before climbing to your feet.  'Okay, I’m gonna go talk to him.  Wish me luck!’

'You don’t need luck,’ Glenn called after you.  'You’ve got a gun, right?’

‘Glenn!’ you heard Maggie scold him.

‘What?  She might need it!’

 

* * *

 

Your gaze wandered as you crossed the yard, picking out the archer’s solitary figure leaning against the railing high up in the tower, a dark outline against the sunset.  The sky was streaked with colours, reds and oranges and pinks hanging above the forest, as the vast burning orb sank slowly out of sight.  Daryl’s focus was on the horizon, and he remained oblivious to your approach until you reached the top of the stairs that would take you to his side once again.

He barely looked up as you stepped out onto the platform, and you found yourself rolling your eyes at the back of his head as he studiously ignored you.

‘Can we talk?’  You phrased it as a question, though your tone made it clear that he didn’t have a choice in the matter.  He only shrugged, so you pressed on, determined to air this out once and for all.  ‘Daryl, what the hell happened?’

‘Don’ know what ya mean.’

‘Yeah, you do.  We were friends, weren’t we?  Back at the farm?  I helped you look for Carol’s little girl.  You let me hide from all of the drama with you when everyone was fighting.’

‘We’re friends,’ he insisted, though his voice was void of any sort of emotion.  

‘Are we?  Because I don’t actually remember the last time you spent more than a minute with me before dashing off to be as far away as possible.’  His shoulders had tensed, and when you moved forward to rest your forearms against the railing, you could see that he was gnawing at his thumbnail in a way you knew would make it bleed.  ‘Did I do something?’

‘Nah.’  He turned piercing blue eyes on you as the sadness in your voice penetrated his stony exterior, and you could see a debate going on behind them, somewhere deep inside his head.  ‘Ya din’t do nothin’.  S’not you.’

‘So, what is it then?’ you pressed.  ‘We can’t go on like this.  I hate it.  I want to be good with you, okay?  So, please, just tell me how.’

‘Ya’d be better off stayin’ away.’  He bit the words out as though they tasted sour in his mouth.

‘I don’t want to stay away.  God, there are so few of us left, and you want me to try to keep my distance?  How am I even supposed to do that?’  When he turned his gaze back to the darkening forest, you reached for his arm, tugging on it, exasperated.  ‘C’mon, just tell me what’s going on.  Let me fix this.’

‘Ya can’t fix it.’  He pulled away from your touch, moving to other side of the tower to look out over the prison yard instead.  ‘Ain’t nothin’ worth fixin’ anyway.  Yer better off without me.’

‘Why would you say that?’

‘’Cause it’s the truth!’  He whirled around, eyes flashing with something you didn’t understand.  ‘I ain’t good for ya, alright?  I can’t protect ya!  I can’t keep ya safe!  I ain’t smart or funny or anythin’ like any of them others in there!  Don’ even know why ya care if I don’ wanna sit ‘n’ make no damn daisy chains with ya no more.  Ya got enough friends!  Ya should stick with them!’

You frowned at him, trying to make some sense of his outburst.  ‘But- Daryl, no, I-’

But he wasn’t done, as another anguished shout erupted from him.  ‘I went back for ya, ya know that?’

‘What?’

His mouth opened and closed several times before he went on, and the pained look on his face brought a lump to your throat.  ‘At the farm.  When it got overrun that night.  I dumped Carol off at the side o’ the road, ‘n’ I went back for ya.  It was dark ‘n’ with the smoke, I wasn’ sure whether ya got out ‘n’ I couldn’ jus’…  But ya weren’t there!’

‘I was fine, Daryl.  I was with Rick.’

‘Yeah, I got that.  After.  But at the time, I… I thought I’d just left ya there t’ die ‘n’ I couldn’… I couldn’ stand it.  I tried to find ya, Y/N, but there were too many of ‘em ‘n’ I had to move.  I thought I’d left ya.’

The realisation of what he was really saying hit you like a bullet in the heart, and you inched towards him, itching to reach out and wrap your arms around him.  ‘Daryl, it’s over, okay?  It happened but I’m okay.  I got out.  We both did.  We’re alive.’

‘But ya might not o’ been.  ‘N’ it would’a been down to me.  If Rick hadn’ scooped ya up when he did-’

‘Then it would have been shit, yeah.  I probably wouldn’t be here now.  But it wouldn’t have been your fault.’

‘I should’a kept ya with me!  I should’a kept ya safe!’

‘I always feel safe with you.’

‘But it ain’t enough!’  His ears had reddened as you tried to talk him down, the pink tips visible even in the fading light.  ‘I ain’t enough.  I’m never gonna be.  Ain’t no point pretendin’.’

‘Don’t say that!’

‘It’s the truth.’

‘No.’  Another step forward and you were within touching distance, raising your hands to rest against his chest, his heart thrumming beneath the soft leather of his vest.  ‘No, it’s not.  God, what is enough, Daryl?  Remember, when Rick found me out on the road and brought me to the camp for the first time?  It was you who patched me up and gave me water and told me that everything was going to be okay.  And when I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares, it was you that sat up and talked to me until I calmed down.  You kept me sane at the farm when it felt like everything was going to shit.  Yeah, I have a lot of friends here.  I get on with pretty much everybody, and it’s great, it is.  But half the reason that I have the confidence to do that, to be myself with these- these strangers, is because I know you’ve got my back.  So, if that’s not enough, then, please, tell me what is!’

Your rant had silenced him and his stare bore in to you as he processed your words, his shoulders slumping.  The crease in his brow had softened, and, when your hand drifted up to cup his cheek, rubbing your thumb over the soft scruff that covered his skin, one corner of his mouth quirked in a helpless smile.  ‘Guess I ain’t ever thought about it like that.’

‘Well, you should.  I don’t think you know how much you mean to this group, Daryl.  The people down there, they trust you.  They depend on you.  I depend on you.’

‘Ya do?’

‘I do.’

‘M’sorry.’  The final layer of his resistance crumbled and finally you felt able to snake your arms around his neck and pull him into a tight hug.  He stiffened in your embrace for a fraction of a second, before relaxing into it, one large hand rubbing circles over your spine as you held him close.  

‘Yeah, so you should be,’ you teased.  ‘Just don’t do it again, okay?  Next time you get some stupid idea like this in your head, just talk to me.’

You felt him nod against your hair and when you pulled back it was so easy to press yourself up on tiptoes and capture his lips, giggling into the kiss when he froze at the unexpected gesture, though the smokey taste of him had made your pulse race.  

‘Wha’ was that for?’ he rasped when you broke away, genuine distress contorting his features.

‘Because you’re enough,’ you reassured him gently.  ‘You’re more than enough, and, believe it or not, I think I could actually fall in love with you, Daryl Dixon.’

His forehead fell forward to rest against yours as he searched your eyes for any sign of insincerity.  ‘Ya think?’

‘Are you gonna push me away again if I say yes?’

‘Nah.’  A strong arm wrapped around your waist, hauling you against him until your bodies were flush, your breath mingling in the centimetres between your lips.  ‘Never.’


End file.
